4.06.2012

Cry me a river.

Am I the only one that has occasional emotional breakdowns? What am I saying? Of course not!

Am I the only one that thinks I'm one emotional breakdown from losing my significant other? That's more of a possibility.

To be clear, he's never done anything that would lead me to believe this is true. I'm guessing this is just one of my many neuroses. Yay.

He did break up with me once, years ago. We were kids, though. At least mentally. We couldn't have stayed together and grown into the adults we are now. But maybe I hold on to some hurt and resentment from that? Whatever it is, it's not fair to him.

This comes in light of my most recent emotional blubbering, which happened a day or two ago. It usually happens where we're talking about something unrelated, something that should be inane turns into a trigger, and before anyone knows it, I'm (usually hiding somewhere) crying about any and every thing awful that's happened or could happen in a while. Luckily, this isn't like an every-few-days occurrence. So on top of all that mess, in the back of my mind is this annoying voice that tells me that he may stay for this one, but surely the next one, he's out the door. For the love of Pete, brain, why must you do this to me?! You're already pretty effin crazy; why take it to the next level??

I'm certain that, with all this highfalutin schoolin' I've done, I am more than capable of psycho-analyzing this. But that would mean dealing with it, and really, what's more fun than denial?! Really?

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