Good reads.

This is definitely something I should write about more, mainly because I should read more. And truthfully, the last few books I've read have a limited audience. For example, with a pregnant best friend (until about 5 weeks ago!) I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" in order to be the informed, supportive friend. I suggest the latter if you're looking for humor with some real-life tips, and the former if you want just the facts.

The book I'm currently reading is also utilitarian, of sorts. For our pre-marital counseling, our good friend and minister, Walt (the husband of my best friend!), suggested "Real Marriage" by Mark and Grace Driscoll and "A Celebration of Sex".

So I've started "Real Marriage", and it is fantastic. It's hard. It forces you to deal with some heavy stuff, but it is so worth it. I would recommend it to any couple who is married or close to being married.

And speaking of that, we're going on a little more than 5 months! Yay!

(We're supposed to wait until about a month before the wedding to crack open "A Celebration of Sex", but I've heard great things about it)

Planning, planning, planning

I feel so boring lately...I don't do very much, outside of work and wedding planning. Luckily, there's not much left to plan!

I have the invitations, the location, the photographer, my accessories, decorations, and bridesmaids' attire. I'm working with the cake artist and the dress designer. Chris has booked the wedding party dinner and is ordering save-the-dates in the next few days.

Since I'm such a crafter, I've taken on the making or customizing much of the decorations, of course. I've started on some of it, but I really need to get busy! For instance, I purchased over 100 glass votives, but I couldn't just leave them as they were. I decided they should be shimmery. So I am hand painting 107 glass votives...there are currently only 24 completed. Super.
Guess I should get to work...less than 6 months left!

The Sweetest Day (aka: the proposal)

This boy did a wonderful job.  Just let me say that first.  Even though I knew it was coming (at some point), I was completely surprised.  Even though I think I saw him reach for his pocket, I was completely surprised.  A planner, this fella is.

So...Chris has been teasing for quite some time that he would be waiting until Christmas to propose.  This made me crazy!  Which was his goal.  Now, I knew he wasn't serious, probably.  He's always told me he wouldn't waste a holiday on that.  I deserved to have a separate day just for that.  Sweet one.  But in any case, he's been known to throw me off track by doing the exact opposite of what I expect.  So I didn't know what in the world he was going to do.

Early last week, I got a call from my bestie asking if Chris and I wanted to meet her and her husband for dinner on Sunday night, because they didn't have church and wanted to come to the city.  I thought that was a great idea, especially since Chris and I had just had a discussion about some LivingSocial deals we needed to use before they expire.  We decide to go try this new restaurant, and I ask Chris to make the reservation.  As far as I know, we have a 5:30 reservation for Sunday night.  I did think it was odd that church was cancelled on a random Sunday night, and that it was very suspicious that we discussed the soon-to-be-expired vouchers the day before, but I put it out of my mind.

On Sunday afternoon, I looked at the website for the restaurant since we'd not been there before.  According to the site, they were not open for dinner on Sunday night!  I brought it to Chris' attention, but he assures me he called the restaurant and spoke with them, instead of using OpenTable.  He blamed it on a lazy webmaster.  Again, I think it's a bit fishy, but I go with it.

Once I'm nearly ready, Chris tells me we need to go by the Peristyle (the location we're using for our wedding) to snap a few pictures for his mom.  She is having dinner with a wedding coordinator friend, and she'd like to show pictures of the space, but has lost the pictures we sent previously.  I agree, worrying we'll be late for our reservations, and curiously suspicious because his mother does not lose things.

All day Sunday, I was at war with myself...trying not to get my hopes up too high.  I thought he might propose at dinner with friends that night, but I surely didn't want to be too disappointed if he didn't.  So, I was trying very hard to stay cool and grounded.

When we arrive at the Peristyle, a wedding is just about to start.  It's beautifully set for a very formal wedding.  It was the first time we've seen it set for a wedding.  Absolutely gorgeous.  I follow Chris around as he snaps pictures and obviously contemplates walking in to this wedding.  I keep my distance, being quite underdressed for the occasion.

We walk down to the waterfront, and just look across Bayou Metairie, taking in the view.  On the other side of the bayou, there is a gorgeous stone bridge that crosses over to Goldfish Island.  Chris says he's always wanted to see it up close, and he'd like to see the Peristyle from across the bayou.  So we walk over.  I worry we'll miss our reservation, but Chris assures me it's fine.  I wonder again, if maybe, just maybe he'll propose, but try not to get too excited.

It is just lovely from across the water, and we stand there talking about how it is just the ideal spot for our wedding and how lucky we were to see it all set up.  Then after a few seconds I think I might have just seen him reach for his pocket...heart stops.  Brain follows.  He tells me he would get down on one knee, but he might die because the bridge is actually pretty steep and really rocky.  We both laugh, and he holds out the ring.  He asks if I would do him the immense honor of becoming his wife.  I think I reply, "umm...of course?"  And I just grab the ring and try to put it on the correct finger, which already has a ring on it.  (as soon as that ring came out, I got really weird)  He suggests maybe he should do that, and I agree.

It's pretty freaking amazing, right?!

Chris tells me that the original plan was to propose in the Peristyle, precisely where we'll be married in under 200 days (!).  I'm really pretty ok with the way things worked out, because it is perfect.  I also learn that the dinner reservation is just an excuse to get me ready on time (and probably not in pajamas).  He does have a reservation for a sunset gondola ride through City Park, complete with champagne.  He knows his audience well.

 The gondolier serenades us and encourages all the passersby to congratulate us.  So sweet.

It's Italian tradition to kiss as you pass under bridges, or else you'll have 7 years bad luck.  There are 10 bridges in City Park.  And you pass under them twice.

The ceremony has just ended as we are passing.

The wedding party congratulates us!  I'm getting married there!

Seriously, can't stop looking at it the entire time.  Except for all the kissing.  And the drinking of the champagne.  Which doesn't help with the weirdness.  Also, I need a manicure.

We do have dinner reservations!  Only they're at 8:00, because our friends do have church.  And at Court of Two Sisters, not Apolline.  He made this plan because we'll be having dinner with our wedding party at Court of Two Sisters after our wedding.  So precious.

Needless to say, it was truly the sweetest day yet.  Absolute perfection.

Where I've been.

First, I apologize for my sudden radio silence. I knew if I wrote anything at all, I would give away stuff that I shouldn't. But no worries now!

As you may know, Chris and I are now engaged! What you may not know, is we've already been wedding planning for months. Pretty much right before I stopped writing, in June, we began our wedding plans.

We've known for quite some time we wanted to be married...I mean, we have been together like a hundred years... And finally the time was just right. He had my ring made, which was a process that took a couple months, as he had it designed. I knew he was doing so, and while I didn't pick it out specifically, I gave him plenty of options and information to choose the perfect one. And he certainly did!

Since he had the ring, he told me to begin planning. We knew what we wanted would take some time to plan, and we also knew that we would have to work around the crazy hot New Orleans weather and a best man currently serving our country as a Marine.

All that to say, we know when, where, and how we'll be married, and you will also. Very soon!

Soon.

There's so much to tell you, but I can't yet. Soon, very soon.

I haven't blogged in a while, because I know I'll spill the beans. Rest assured, soon you'll know what I've been up to.

Love!

Domesticity: Homemade Laundry Detergent

Last time I posted a picture while making my homemade laundry detergent, I had lots of questions.  Therefore, I am blogging the process this time.  Personally, I only need to do this once every few months.  I've lived in this house since September 2011, and this is my third time making laundry soap...so you do the math.  But, I don't have lots of children, and I use towels more than once.  I tend to wash sheets once per week.  Just for a frame of reference.  I'm usually washing clothes for 2 people and 2 dogs, including one that sheds enough for 4 dogs.

For the record, I have nothing against store-bought soap...for the most part.  When I was still buying laundry soap, I only bought organic, earth-friendly products.  Yes, I'm one of those people, concerned with all the chemicals and hazardous materials in commercial products.  But I won't go into that here...much.  I will say that right before I made this the first time, I tried to go back to conventional, store-brand laundry detergent, to try to save money.  It was the most horrid acid green color I've ever seen, and the one load I washed with it had to be washed 2 more times with my organic detergent to get rid of the terrible chemical smell.  It's nothing personal if you like those scents, I just can't tolerate them.  Maybe I'm a brat.  It wouldn't be the first time I've heard that.  I ended up giving it away.

To start, you will need a large pot (large enough to hold a few gallons), a bar of soap, a grater, Borax, washing soda, a measuring cup, a stirring utensil, a funnel, tap water, and some empty containers.  Use whatever soap you would like.  Personally, I only use soap I would feel comfortable using on my skin, which is Mrs. Meyers basil scent, in this case.  I know people that use all sorts of brands...Ivory, Dial, whatever.  Use something you think smells good, because this is what your fragrance will come from.  The Borax and washing soda are both easy to purchase, usually at your local Walmart.  I have not had luck finding them at Target or any grocery stores in my area, but yours may be different.  They will both be located in the laundry aisle.  And yes, washing soda is different from baking soda.  But baking soda is not a bad thing to add to your laundry.  Depending on the price of your bar soap, the ingredients are very inexpensive, and they can be used for several batches, making the detergent very cost-efficient. 

There are many questions as to whether you can use your pot and utensils for other things after making the laundry detergent, and I say yes, as long as you feel good about your ingredients.  Other than my bar soap, my ingredients are the same as the homemade dishwasher detergent I made (that I hated, by the way), so I don't see a problem with it.  You may have another view, and that's fine.

Ok, to start, you will need to grate your soap.  I used half of an 8 oz. bar.  So that's 4 oz.

Then, you will need to gather your pot and empty containers.

Fill the pot with one gallon of water and add the grated soap.

Heat the water and soap until the soap dissolves.  Feel free to stir to help this along.

Once the soap dissolves, you will need to add 1 c. of Borax and 1 c. of washing soda.  Again, you may stir.

Allow this to come to a rolling boil, and let it boil for about 1 minute.

After it boils, remove the pot from the heat, and add about 1.5 gallons of cool water to the pot.  Stirring is, again, fine...even encouraged.

(the original recipe I followed called for just 1 additional gallon of water, but I found that it made a very lumpy, gelatinous detergent.  I prefer a more liquid detergent, much like you would purchase.)

At this point, I strayed from the traditional recipe a bit.  I chose to add a container of store-bought detergent.  I did this because I wanted a bit more scent, and more stain-fighting power.  **Note:  this detergent cleans and deodorizes clothes well, but it does not whiten or remove stains.  You will need to pre-treat stains and/or use whitening products (bleach, oxy-clean) for whites.

If you choose to add additional ingredients, add them to the pot of detergent, right after the cool water.  Stir well to combine everything.  My very large pot is quite full at this point.

Have your containers ready to be filled.  As you can see, my funnel is ready and waiting.  From previous experience, I have prepped the area with one of our microfiber dog towels, because the detergent is easy to spill or overflow, and even when you're being careful, the foam tends to cascade all over the floor.

Since this is a two-person operation (for me), I don't have pictures of the actual filling of the containers.  But as I said, foamy cascades are not uncommon.

And there you have it!

Your very own, homemade laundry detergent, set to cool in your very own little pantry.  Or at least that's where mine goes, because that's where the washer and dryer are.  Using the water and extra detergent I used, I ended up with over 3 gallons of laundry detergent. 

You certainly can use it right away, but it's best to give it 24 hours to congeal a bit.  As far as the containers, I just use the last laundry detergent container I bought and 2 gallon size distilled white vinegar bottles I washed out.  I go through quite a bit of white vinegar.  I use vinegar as fabric softener in my towels, and with my sheets...but I add a few drops of lavender essential oil to the vinegar for the sheets.  With clothes, I use organic fabric softener, because I love the scent and the softness.  I just can't give that up yet.  I've tried.

To use the laundry soap, again, it's really your preference.  In my front-load washer, I use around 1/4 c. for a normal load of laundry.  If it is a really dirty or large load, I might use 1/2 c.  For top-load washers, 1/2 c. should be just fine. 

I have issues with constantly spilling or splashing olive and other viscous oils on myself.  The best solution I have found to combat this problem is to add 1 Tbsp. of dishwashing soap (just my regular Seventh Generation dish soap) per gallon of laundry detergent.  So for myself, I added 3 Tbsp.  If the spill (or set-in stain) is particularly bad, I pre-treat with a drop of dish soap rubbed in to the oil spot, and it has always come out.  If you have a front loader HE machine like I do, this has not caused any sudsing problems, since it's such a small amount of dish soap. 

Any questions, I'll try my best to answer!

Up All Night.

This will be a first for me. Writing a "tip" blog, that is. Not being up all night. Definitely not being up all night. This is for all my dear fellow insomniacs. Hopefully, something will help!

I've had trouble sleeping as far back as I can remember. I clearly remember being a small child (think 3-5) and lying in bed for hours staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep. I wasn't much of a napper, either. That was always more of just a "lie down" time for me.

It has, of course, gotten worse as I've gotten older. I was destined to have insomnia. It runs rampant in my father's family, and my mother and her father are (were, in his case) narcoleptics. The funny thing about narcolepsy is that the disorder really isn't that you just fall asleep on command, I mean, it is...but it's because of the underlying insomnia. My mother is up and down all night, without medication. On a good night, she'll get about 4 hours of sleep, usually in 1-1.5 hour increments. Not a fun way to live.

So I wanted to share with you, some of the tips and tricks that have helped me. And probably some that haven't.

• Earplugs: The most helpful thing to me yet. The overwhelming majority of my problem is/was that I am a super light sleeper, who apparently has bionic hearing whilst sleeping and falling asleep. But no other time. Every little thing would wake me or keep me awake. They've been a lifesaver. And I can still hear my alarm or any emergency sounds just fine.

• Melatonin: I've taken melatonin off and on for probably 3-4 years now. What it helps (me) with is the falling asleep process. It definitely makes me drowsy within 30-45 minutes. I wouldn't say that it is always strong enough to keep me asleep, but I have had mornings after I've taken it too late, that I felt hungover. So...
I will say that this is not necessarily a medication, it does occur naturally in our bodies. Some just don't process it correctly or enough.

• Meditation: Yes, I've tried it. No, it didn't work for me. I don't think. I've tried a few methods (concentrating on one word slowly over and over, clearing the mind, focusing on sleep), and I just didn't get the results. I think the goal is probably relaxation of the mind, but that rarely happens to me ever anyway. It may work for you, though.

• Praying: It has worked most of the time. I am the praying type, if you're not, that's ok. I have fallen asleep in the middle of praying (in bed, at night, not just anywhere) so many times that I don't have numbers. I've also prayed specifically for sleep many times when it seemed like I wouldn't get there myself. He made us, He knows our physical bodies need rest, and He wants us to take care of what He's created. Why wouldn't He give you sleep? (There are times when this hasn't worked...but only when He wanted me to listen or figure out something)

• Other medication: I've taken a few OTC sleeping meds, and none of them have worked. Not even the PM types of regular pain relievers, sinus meds, whatever. Though NyQuil type things make me hibernate for days, the sleep or PM stuff makes me crawl walls. I'm just weird. I've only taken a prescription med once, and I didn't notice much difference from the melatonin, but maybe once wasn't enough.

• Listening to music: Does not relax me enough to sleep. I love music, and I think it is very relaxing. However, music keeps my brain active, which keeps me awake. Though it might help some.

• Beverages: Some swear by warm milk, which I've never tried, and some have other remedies. My 2 most helpful would be either a glass of cold chocolate milk or a glass of wine. I really have no idea why the chocolate milk works...definitely not the same reason the wine does, I do know that.

• Exercise: Honestly, this is probably the best guarantee of sleep I know. If I've worn myself out during the day, I'm going to sleep that night. Whether it is planned exercise periods during the day, or just a very busy, very hectic day, as long as I've been very active, I will sleep. I've also tried relaxing exercises at bedtime (think yoga and stretching), and I've gotten good results from that. I think if you just empty the tank, your body will have to recharge to go again tomorrow. At least a vast majority of the time.

• the Bed: Some say to keep the bed sacred, and only for sleeping, as it will help you into the mindset of sleep. This has never mattered with me. I love my bed, and sometimes spend all day in my bed, and still sleep at night! But if this is a problem for you, find other places to do work, eat, watch tv, etc.

When all else fails: Nap! Do some research, and you'll find that many successful, high-profile people are nappers. They usually also don't sleep much at night, thus necessitating the nap. It doesn't have to be long; a 20 minute power nap is one of the most refreshing things ever. As an adult, I have become a napper. I noticed the benefits during grad school, and would often slip in a nap between my classes, work, and all the volunteer jobs I held. It really helps me.

This is not, by any means, exhaustive, but I do hope something helps you, or someone you know. It is such difficult issue to deal with.

What helps you most?